Last Sober Weekend

Today, in all likelihood, is the last completely sober weekend. No longer will I be able to be so productive on a Saturday and Sunday. For the next ten months I will be waking up at least one day each weekend trying to recollect what I did and where I did it the night before. How much money did I spend and how much do I have left? Who is this stunningly beautiful girl next to me?

Ok, so that last question I never really get to ask, but you get the point. This week will see the gradual decline from responsibilty to irresponsibilty. It is well deserved after these two months of sacrafice, however it is almost sad to see it go so quickly. Full weekend degeneration really won't begin until the weather gets nice out, but the foundation will be laid on Friday. And I cannot fucking wait.

2nd day eating meat again

i feel like a million bucks. i am going to spend the weekend relaxing, doing homework, eating meat and trying to mentally prepare myself for the next 2 weekends. Last night was great but was also a major challenge. We started off well by murdering some of the greatest wings known to man!!! i managed to get down at least 9 wings which is much less than the norm. so moving on, nancy and her friend colleen and colleens boyfriend decided that they wanted to put us to the ultimate test which they did. Both Glab and i almost succumbed to drinking and I must take a moment to compliment Glab for not falling victim because i did put the decisions on his shoulders.

I really cannot wait for next weekend. not because we are going to be celebrating my b-day but because we are going to be drinking again. Thus far, the plan is to take a half day off of work on friday. most likely around 1 pm and just get completely shitfaced after a vish workout. I am excited.....until next time

Crisis Averted

Today I had devilish thoughts about breaking Alcohol Temperance along with the breaking of Meat Temperance, which will occur shortly. Garcia received an urgent email and then text message telling him to call me. Before we talked he sent me an email saying that we need to 'stay the course' and that giving up now would be like Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen giving 200% in the regular season and then playing half assed in the postseason.

He must know that sports analogies are the best way for me to understand the big picture. Thank you Garcia for talking me out of my dirty ideas. We have come this far and we definitely should not give up now. Although I created Temperance, I am human and I am susceptible to temptation. In my darkest hour, Garcia came through and for that I would like to publicly commend him. For future Temperances to succeed, we will need to have a strong support network to encourage each other throughout the journey.

After much consideration, Garcia and I have decided that there will be Temperance guidelines to follow. This will be done to ensure only the most serious participants join us. The aim is not to exclude anyone, but to make sure those that do participate endure the full experience. Once you go through an official Temperance you have a different outlook on things. The will power and determination you exhibit during this time will be carried over into other aspects of life. Garcia will back me up on this I'm sure.

There will be more to come on these topics but now its time to head to Lotties for The Breaking part I.

Reverse Withdrawl

Of course, being on the threshold of breaking Temperance, this week has to go by slower than one of Sarah Palin's kids. I can't even imagine how terrible next week is going to be. Let's be optimistic though because delicious Lotties wings will be consumed in about 48 hours.

I have nothing else to report. Marc Barileau is gay, but we all knew that already.

i couldnt be happier

i couldnt be happier about the meat portion fo temperance being over this friday. this is a feat that not many people can make and i think that we were quite successful during 2010. i cannot wait for friday.

BREAKING NEWS

Chicago, IL - According to an email thread between Michael Glab and Anthony Garcia, the two Temperance All Stars have decided to break the meat portion of Temperance this Friday. After several hours of intense negotiations the two decided on breaking meat Temperance at Lotties, known for having the most robust and delicious wings in the entire City of Chicago.

Good behavior and a general sense of boredom were cited as the main factors behind today's stunning decision. The boys also did not think it would be a good idea to reintroduce alcohol and meat into their respective systems all at once. "Thank God this is happening Friday, I can't take this much longer," said a relieved Anthony Garcia. "My meat consumption is second only to my consumption of peanut butter waffles with Hershey chocolate sauce so this will really improve my outlook on life."

Michael Glab seemed to view the decision with youthful exuberance. "I'm glad we were able to make it this far, I would have rather had the alcohol end first, but we needed to come to a mutual decision that this was the best route. Our T2010 behavior has been stellar thus far and this will be our reward. From a health standpoint we do not want to overload our fragile stomachs with too much all at once and we thought this would be a necessary step."

The boys plan on having Lotties wings on Friday night and they encourage any T2010 participants to come on out. The alcohol portion of Temperance remains in effect until the Breaking March 5. Again the boys plan on making a stop by Lotties before going around to Wicker Park drinkeries annoying everyone in their sights.

Trader Joe's

For the first time ever I shopped at Trade Joe's and can confidently say that this will be my new main grocery store. Most everything is all natural/organic and it is only slightly more expensive than Jewel. The store is smaller and there is obviously less choices, but the choices they do have seem to be much higher quality.

A large 24 ounce container of blueberries was $6. At Jewel you can only get about half of that for the same price. Their organic apple selection was priced the same as Jewel's non organic apples. Eggs and cheese were among some items priced slightly higher than Jewel. However I think the opportunity cost of shopping at Trader Joe's is greater because you get better quality for a marginally more expensive grocery bill.

I must also mention portion size because it is of vital important to people like myself who like to indulge. Items like all natural peanut butter came in smaller containers than traditional Jif containers. Boxes of cereal seemed to be smaller than traditional boxes at Jewel or Dominicks. However I think this could be a good thing because it will force me/you to eat a little less. And again these instances were cancelled out by other great deals like 2 pieces of frozen Swordfish for $6.

This is only a quick and dirty assessment of my first time shopping at Trader Joe's. Honestly I really haven't even tried much of the food yet, but I have a feeling all of it will be most delicious. If it werent for Temperance I probably never would have done and kept paying for overpriced regular shit at Jewel. There are Temperance stories like this everywhere of people trying new things. And by everywhere I really mean one or two or three people who live on the Northside of Chicago.

Take it EZ

Temperance has exhausted me both physically and mentally. Temperance began on a cold, partly sunny, hungover day in very early Janaury. Since then I have been going all out at the gym taking only two non consecutive days off per week. Tuesday decided I had had enough and began a three day siesta. I celebrated yesterday by purchasing $300 dollar glasses (without my insurance the glasses plus the exam would have been over $700!!!) and eating two bowls of cocoa crispies for dessert.

Mental exhaustion has also become a factor during this extended period of detoxing. I have had plenty of spare time to give 100% lucid consideration to many things in life. I have also been reading quite a bit as well and after reading some of this shit I wish I could be illiterate so I could be ignorant to the way the world works. The more you know, the more you realize how fucked up things can be which is probably why that sick asshole crashed a plane into the building in Austin.

Let me digress for a minute. As soon as this story broke, the online media was stating that this did not appear to be an act of terrorism. Are you fucking kidding me? Just because Osama/Al Qaeda weren't running the planes into buildings this time doesn't make this an act of terrorism? Fuck that. If you really believe that you are fucking RETARDED. Terrorism knows no color of skin, religion or nationality. Incidents of domestic terrorism occur everyday - people warring in ghettos, shooting up college campuses or lighting up the workplace. The media totally sucks balls and to make things worse, the most informative news show - The Daily Show, is on reruns this week. Is it not fucked up that the most real portrayal of current events is on COMEDY CENTRAL!?

Anyways Temperance is winding down and two weeks from tomorrow it all ends. Two more weeks of a sober existence.

NosePod

At the gym, all I could think about was how much I wanted to rest. I havent taken consecutive days off from the gym since Temperance started. My body had had enough and my mind agreed. Drove straight to Jimmy Johns for a delicious veggie on wheat. I never thought I would be eating veggie subs and liking it.

Today was a weird day. Either someone at work was eating rotten trout or has Trimethylaminuria aka Fish Odor Syndrome. It seriously smelled like a bunch of dead smelt washed up on Oak Street beach and roasted in the summer sun. It literally made me cough and almost gag. Heres a tip: If you can smell your meal from more than 30 feet away you should probably throw it out or eat outside.

Right before I left, a person who sits by me was having an interesting dialogue with their computer. I guess it was more of a monologue because the computer cannot talk back. The computer is smart for not talking back because I cant even imagine the awesome conversation that would take place. The crazy person in question told their computer to "Shut up!", which is weird because it didnt say anything in the first place. Well at least nothing I could hear. Then the crazy person said "Exactly" to the computer. I wonder what the computer could have said that would produce the crazy person to utter those words to it?

Dell Optiplex: Hey you know I can't speak back to you, but this one time I felt compelled to respond to you since you continue to speak to me as if I am a real human being.

Crazy Person: Shut up!!

Dell Optiplex: See man, I'm not even really talking to you, yet you speak to me nonetheless.

Crazy Person: Exactly


6833 songs are currently in rotation on my iPod, but I occasionally like to be able to hear the rest of the world. However this has been less true as of late due to similar offenses as stated above. Today would have been a great day to have an ipod-like device that would play different air freshening scent into my nostrils. Oooh I think I'll go with some Morning Mountain Mist for awhile. Insert two nostril buds into my nose and I'd be ok. MMM is getting boring, lets try some Slighty Salty Fresh Ocean Breeze........oh shit! A whale carcass just washed onto the beach!

Three Weeks from Today

We will be tasting glorious alcohol for the first time in 63 days. The second when that first beer finally hits the collective palette will be a moment to savor for the next ten months. (As I write this 'What Goes Around' by NaS randomly plays on the iPod). I will savor these next few weekends of peace and I actually have some grown up shit to take care before I start acting like a fool again. I still would like to achieve my goal of running three miles in 20 minutes, which may kill me.

Its not over yet, but let it be known now and let it be known forever, I am ready for this to be over. T2010 has been probably the most fulfilling Temperance ever, but all good things must come to an end.

Salmon Burgers with Ketchup.

That's the highlight of my day lately. Despite feeling amazing and having a surplus of funds to pay off debt and purchase necessities, I am ready to be back on the drinking circuit. The cancellation of all the Temperance gains will probably take about three weeks, but I plan on carrying over some of the diet adjustments I made during Temperance.

Garcia and I have already spent many hours preparing post Temperance drinking adventures. We have nothing else to do. Last weekend I played Sega (with friends) both nights. This is probably the first time that has happened (sober) in about 15 years. It was good times, but as I walked to D'Agostinos to pick up a pizza I walked by countless drunk people heading to bars and parties. How I envied them. On the northside of Addison St. I saw a group of people walk into a party. As the door opened I heard the customary "Heeeeeey!" accompanied by the clinking of beer bottles. I had to hurry home to Temperance Sanctuary.

The pizza briefly made me forget what I had witnessed but the signals were clear. I am ready for Temperance to be over. I am ready for beer and wings as much as I craved their 2month demise in December. My body and soul have been fully recharged and are now ready for 10 months of good weather and booze.

Three weeks remain but I am drooling towards the finish.

A Sober Perspective of Our Drunkeness

Degenerates come out and playeeeeeeee

Saturday evening with the assclown brigade

I just thought I would briefly transcribe Saturday evenings events
just in case you guys forgot any of it. Barileau's friend got the
evening started off quickly by calling Katie (Host of the party) promiscuous.
Of course Katie went apeshit because she thinks she is some kind
of tough girl, but really she is just probably got bit by a squirrel
and has rabies.

One of the shining moments of the evening appeared when Garcia decided
he needed to take a piss. Instead of heading to the bathroom like
must civilized individuals do he decided he would piss of the second
floor of the back porch. He had his back to the crowd and casually
rest his arms on the railing to give the appearance that he was
casually leaning on the railing and relaxing. If any of those people
saw him from the front they would realize his dick was hanging out of
his fly and he was watering the lawn with his bodily fluids.

Moving on to about an half and hour later Glab storms back in and
starts singing about how he just climbed in to the window. Could he
just of calmly come over to us and waxed poetically about his tale,
sure he could off been that just wouldn't be Michael Glab. Who the
hell thinks to come into a party by climbing through a window? Michael
then decided to use the Garcia method of passing urine. The
difference was Michael's piss hit the ground so loud that it made the
noise rain makes when it hits the ground during a heavy storm. I
literally looked out for a split second into the darkness of the night
to see if it started raining.

Towards the end of the evening I was conversating with a chick and
after finishing the brief convo I went to look for you guys. I
couldn't find you guys anywhere and my first reaction was did these
idiots leave me here. So I phoned Garcia and he didn't pick up and
then I was able to reach Glab by phone. He's like dude I'm in the
back alley, " This girl is trying to assualt me, this girl is trying
to assalt me." The gist was Michael told Katie that she has a
raspy voice and that she looks like Andy Sipowicz and she started
throwing beers at him. hahahahahaha Of course this knucklehead had a
soaking wet shirt by the time I caught up with him.

We proceeded to grab a cab because God forbid Garcia would walk four
blocks. We pull up to Wrigley Dog and Garcia says you guys got some
money to put in. Neither me, Glab, or Funke acknowledged him. As he
went for his Wallet he asked again and nobody responded. He would go
on to ask a third and time and me and Glab just looked at each other
and start laughing so hard because we loved giving Garcia a taste of
his own medicine. The douche got douched on and me and Glab loved it.
No money for you Funke didn't give much of a reaction.

We then get into the Wrigley Dog and Glab was complaining about the
crap that girl gave him and Garcia goes, "Don't worry dude I got there
glasses." He then proceeds to pull two pairs of prescription glasses
that were broken in half out of his pocket. At that point I'm thinking
to myself good God this guy's degeneracy has no bounds. Glab of course
put the glasses in his mouth and tried to bite a piece off because he
will eat absolutely anything.

After we left Wrigley, Glab was seen walking down the street with his
shirt off showing his pointy boobs to everyone. Garcia did his
traditional I'm going to try to kick the spokes out of bike routine, and
then he pulled an entire bush out of the ground which my Dad later
identified as an Alberta Spruce tree and he said it is rather
expensive at that. I grabbed him so he couldn't destroy any more
stuff only a minute before a cop drove buy. Garcia also pondered
kicking over a motorcycle.

My side is bruised and sore from that bean bag Glab hit me with and
there be payback for that.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a few things but that was the gist. Pardon any
typos I'm to lazy to proof read this email. I must say you guys are
the scum of the earth, but are very entertaining

Joe

challenges of temperance

when i first started temperance, within the first week, i was truly convinced that it was going to be a piece of cake...and then i ate a piece of cake.. but now, we are over the half way point and it has become extremely, extremely difficult, i am not going to lie ,at this point.part of it has to do with the fact that i am eating the same things on a day to day basis, and the other part has to do with television commercials and shows like man vs food that constantly throw alcohol and meet in my face.

i have been having some major cravings and even find myself day dreaming about the day that we break temperance on march 5Th...i cannot fucking wait....i think i am going to eat meat until i am sick which will probably be after 2 wings since i haven't digested any type of meat in a while...today is Superbowl Sunday, and the normal tradition is to have sandwiches, glabs chili, wings and beer, but that isn't happening this year....jesus, where is my life going!! i am going to take a walk to the gym to see if i can get this shit off my mind....

until next time.

Music

In High School, I was partnered with this fag in Chemistry who would bring his guitar to class and play Dave Matthews songs. One day he asked me,

"Dude do you like Dave?"
"No, not really," I responded.
"Dude you really don't like Dave? Are you serious?"
"I mean I liked that first song he came out with back in the day but I never really got into his music."
"Dude and his concerts are so awesome. Everyone is so drunk and high and stuff and like everyone is so cool."
"That's cool man."

I think he must have thought I liked Dave because I was a white guy who went to 'A Dominican College Preparatory High School.' I don't have anything against Dave or his Band, I think they're pretty good. However, their general fan base is not one with which I connect. I am certainly stereotyping here but it appears to be spoiled suburbanite, upper middle class douchemasters - like those who would bring their guitar to class to play Dave tunes.

At this time I was immensed in a world of getting high and listening to things like Pharoahe Monch, Dr. Dre, Mos Def, Pink Floyd and The Doors just to name a few. I couldnt understand why others didn't like stuff because it was so awesome, especially high. I guess a lot of people couldn't connect to music geared towards a diverse, up-and-coming middle class mixed with stoner weirdo fan base.

The things I love most about music is that it consistently pops up in my most vivid and random memories. My Dad would be playing Dark Side of The Moon for me as a child and I would say "Play it again, play it again." Sitting in my piece of shit Aerostar with my Mom when Keep Ya Up by Tupac came on B96 and she goes, "Hey thats Marvin Gaye in the background"...I didnt know who that was but I was glad that we could both enjoy the song for different reasons. Being really high and downloading NaS is Like on Napster. The DJ Premier beat with NaS spitting over it was so insane I had to turn it off. Dancing to the Kanye mixtape in the NIU dorms before College Dropout dropped and really put Chicago on the map.........

The music we listen to seems to be a reflection of our upbringing. Q-tip summed up this feeling best:

Back in the days when i was a teenager
Before i had status and before i had a pager
You could find the abstract listening to hip hop
My pops used to say it reminded him of be-bop
I said, well Daddy dont you know that things go in cycles
The way the Bobby Brown is just ampin like Michael

All music is inherently good, except anything played on KISS FM. So don't call someone a fag just because they like Dave a little too much.

Tuesday

Tuesday is by far the worst day of the work week in my book. Monday is terrible for obvious reasons, Wednesday is hump day, Thursday is an excuse to get drunk during the week and call off on Friday.....which is our favorite day of the week. But Tuesday has no meaning, its worthless, pointless, like the cranial cavity belonging to Sarah Palin. If anything Tuesday should be Bridge day - linking Monday to Wednesday. No, thats pretty gay nevermind.

Today, Tuesday February 2, 2010, has significant meaning in lives three. Today marks the HALFWAY point of Temperance 2010. Times have been getting tough and dirty thoughts of booze and summer parties have been dancing in our minds. We have made it this far and this next month will surely fly. One more month to achieve individual goals and obviously our main goal to complete Temperance.

Garcia and I know the temptations that will rear their ugly heads in this last month. Last Temperance, Garcia and I were at Hooters and had a severe urge to break Temperance. I believe it was $3 coors light drafts that were the impetus behind this near collapse. However with good judgement and the advice of Joe Snyder and the very hot Hooters waitress, we decided to complete the journey.

There will most certainly be temptations and urges to break it early, but waiting until March will make the official Breaking of Temperance that much sweeter. This Temperance has been one the best ever. We had more people than ever before who were willing to give it a shot. Some made it and some didnt. It takes a will power that few possess to achieve this, unless you're a vegan/mormon hybrid. A month is left, but we will be tasting that first glorious beer and chicken wing before you know it.