A Sober Perspective of Our Drunkeness

Degenerates come out and playeeeeeeee

Saturday evening with the assclown brigade

I just thought I would briefly transcribe Saturday evenings events
just in case you guys forgot any of it. Barileau's friend got the
evening started off quickly by calling Katie (Host of the party) promiscuous.
Of course Katie went apeshit because she thinks she is some kind
of tough girl, but really she is just probably got bit by a squirrel
and has rabies.

One of the shining moments of the evening appeared when Garcia decided
he needed to take a piss. Instead of heading to the bathroom like
must civilized individuals do he decided he would piss of the second
floor of the back porch. He had his back to the crowd and casually
rest his arms on the railing to give the appearance that he was
casually leaning on the railing and relaxing. If any of those people
saw him from the front they would realize his dick was hanging out of
his fly and he was watering the lawn with his bodily fluids.

Moving on to about an half and hour later Glab storms back in and
starts singing about how he just climbed in to the window. Could he
just of calmly come over to us and waxed poetically about his tale,
sure he could off been that just wouldn't be Michael Glab. Who the
hell thinks to come into a party by climbing through a window? Michael
then decided to use the Garcia method of passing urine. The
difference was Michael's piss hit the ground so loud that it made the
noise rain makes when it hits the ground during a heavy storm. I
literally looked out for a split second into the darkness of the night
to see if it started raining.

Towards the end of the evening I was conversating with a chick and
after finishing the brief convo I went to look for you guys. I
couldn't find you guys anywhere and my first reaction was did these
idiots leave me here. So I phoned Garcia and he didn't pick up and
then I was able to reach Glab by phone. He's like dude I'm in the
back alley, " This girl is trying to assualt me, this girl is trying
to assalt me." The gist was Michael told Katie that she has a
raspy voice and that she looks like Andy Sipowicz and she started
throwing beers at him. hahahahahaha Of course this knucklehead had a
soaking wet shirt by the time I caught up with him.

We proceeded to grab a cab because God forbid Garcia would walk four
blocks. We pull up to Wrigley Dog and Garcia says you guys got some
money to put in. Neither me, Glab, or Funke acknowledged him. As he
went for his Wallet he asked again and nobody responded. He would go
on to ask a third and time and me and Glab just looked at each other
and start laughing so hard because we loved giving Garcia a taste of
his own medicine. The douche got douched on and me and Glab loved it.
No money for you Funke didn't give much of a reaction.

We then get into the Wrigley Dog and Glab was complaining about the
crap that girl gave him and Garcia goes, "Don't worry dude I got there
glasses." He then proceeds to pull two pairs of prescription glasses
that were broken in half out of his pocket. At that point I'm thinking
to myself good God this guy's degeneracy has no bounds. Glab of course
put the glasses in his mouth and tried to bite a piece off because he
will eat absolutely anything.

After we left Wrigley, Glab was seen walking down the street with his
shirt off showing his pointy boobs to everyone. Garcia did his
traditional I'm going to try to kick the spokes out of bike routine, and
then he pulled an entire bush out of the ground which my Dad later
identified as an Alberta Spruce tree and he said it is rather
expensive at that. I grabbed him so he couldn't destroy any more
stuff only a minute before a cop drove buy. Garcia also pondered
kicking over a motorcycle.

My side is bruised and sore from that bean bag Glab hit me with and
there be payback for that.

I'm sure I'm forgetting a few things but that was the gist. Pardon any
typos I'm to lazy to proof read this email. I must say you guys are
the scum of the earth, but are very entertaining

Joe