Weekends

The basic opportunity cost of Temperance becomes more and more apparent each day. Work hard now, enjoy yourself later. We are currently in the dog days of Temperance; a solid six week stretch of low-key activities. Last night, for example, I had a quiet but very enjoyable night. Started off with a delicious king tuna sub and cheese fries from the world renowned Sub T in Forest Park, then went to the movies with the future editor for Hustler.

As a kid, the thrill of sneaking into a rated R movie was only topped by breaking glass in public. You bought a ticket to a PG or PG-13 movie and snuck into the R movie; pretty simple, but a thrill nonetheless. The best was when me and a buddy snuck into There’s Something About Mary at the Lake Theater, which was a notoriously difficult place to sneak into R movies at the time . Not only did the previews look hilarious, but Cameron Diaz co-starred and was the inspiration for many Jr. High boners.

Since no seats were immediately available in the back we strolled up to front to get what appeared to be the last two seats in the house. We knew we were some major bad asses as we triumphantly made our way to the front row, but demonstrating our newfound swagger wasn’t why we did this. It was for ogling Cameron Diaz and seeing someone get their franks and beans caught in the zipper. We probably understood only 20% of its humor, but we thought There’s Something About Mary was perhaps the best movie we had ever seen in our short 13 years of life.

The movie experience doesn’t seem to have the thrill it was once did. Maybe its because a lot of unoriginal crap is in the theaters. Or maybe its because you are sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with people loudly munching on heavily buttered popcorn and greasily texting sweet nothings to their lame friends. But still being able to get the student discount with my eight year old college ID was pretty exciting.